I rarely write about deeply personal things. Call me introverted or chicken or private or whatever, but the main reason is that these little bits of blathering are posted on the interwebs where they will remain for…ever, and I have the frail hearts of my children to consider as I write.
But, the elephant in the room is roaring, and refuses to be ignored any longer, (it isn’t lost on me that one of the most emotional animals, known for their memory, is the subject of this metaphor) so, bear with me…
I am recently divorced. I was married for twenty-two years, and that marriage ended in February. There’s an Alison Krauss song with a line I had to live out to understand:
“When the hour’s getting sour, it won’t save with time.Though we tried, it’s a lie: I can’t keep hanging on.
I’m untying the sinking stone.”
Now, released from the weight of each other, the opportunity now exists that it will be possible for my ex and I to find some genuine happiness. Life is not a stagnant thing: we grow and we change; because of how my ex and I grew apart, we became unable to find happiness together, and misery combined is misery compounded. Misery is not a good place in which to raise children.
I have gotten many tender-hearted messages from so many people since my ex made it public that he’s found love again. He has recently remarried and is building a new life for himself. I would like to thank you all for your kind concern and I would also like to wish he and his wife every happiness. Truly, for my part, getting divorced was partially motivated by the need to give the both of us a shot at some sort of joy and some sort of healthy life. I am very happy he’s found someone.
If you’re so inclined, keep my precious children in your prayers. They ride on a whirlwind, like so many children do, and have done so with more strength and grace and flat-out guts than anyone I’ve ever even heard of.