“Jacob, he loved Rachel, and Rachel she loved him, and Leah was just there for dramatic effect. Well, it’s right there in the bible, so it must not be a sin, but it sure does seem like an awful dirty trick…”
-Rich Mullins, The World as Best as I Can Remember it.
Leah was tender-eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored.
That’s how they describe me.
My blue eyes are so strange to them.
Weak vision, so they think.
But my eyes are not weak;
They are pale as the sea
The light effects me fiercely:
the sun, high and blazing,
fills my sensitive eyes with tears.
The things I see cut too deeply;
they are so sharp.
I begged God to blur them,
And He answered me with a gift:
Rachel is The Beautiful Prize.
I am the Consolation.
Both of us are slaves
The Used of God.
Jacob waits for my sister,
he settles for me.
This dusty world is not the place for women:
We are the thoughtful gifts of God
Tossed aside and traded
By ungrateful boys.
We are property only occasionally treasured.
Men stoop so low as to give us to one another.
I stand alone by the well in the dawn and cry out to God.
I beg Him to give me someone to love,
not like Jacob, no,
someone who will love me in return.
The Almighty hears me.
He gives me three sons.
Their names are prayers of thanks to God:
“Look, a son”,
Later, He gives me three more,
And He gives me Dinah…
Rachel has her silent stone goddesses,
Her stunning beaty,
An empty womb,
and the love of Jacob,
I have Jacob’s indifference,
The love of my sons, and my daughter,
Tender blue eyes,
And the ear of the Almighty.
The hands of the Almighty hold me up,
They comfort me,
And then they rip me.
He has torn my heart apart,
He has gently mended it,
He has torn it again.
He has used me.
He has moved mountains and made my sons princes.
He has turned His head while some
Beastly man rends my dear Dinah…
Another gift of God shattered.
I wonder why God does not have tender eyes.
I wonder why He does these things.
I wonder if it is so I will cling to Him.
The desperate cling tightly.
I know He hears me when I cry.
I do not stand alone
Under His scorching sun.
When I look at my life
With these tender eyes,
My vision blurred by
And unshed tears,
I so clearly see
I am blessed,
I am so close to God.